Monday, April 9, 2012

Final: I'm Becoming A Lot of Someones

This is me on my worst day of my depression.


I was diagnosed with mild depression my sophomore year of college and until this semester I was making a lot of progress and considered myself "depression free". I then got married and the stress of life and many other unplanned factors crushed down on me and brought out my depression. 
I started out this project wanting to show what having depression looks and feels like since for most of the semester I have been extremely depressed. 
BUT...
Within the last month I have gotten a lot better. At the beginning of this semester I was broken but my story has changed as each one of these people have touched my life in some way. 
I decided to photograph these people in a specific place where they have helped and changed my life.  


This is my mother Paula. I have never had much of a wonderful relationship with my mom but it's here in the kitchen that she has talked with me and told me how I can be happier and be a better wife.  She gave me service and how to give service.

This is my sister Gayle. I have tried to use creativity to get my mind off my depression and as a creative outlet. There are times when I feel blocked and just don't want to but she has taken me out and pushed me. After, we go home and we talk at her computer about life. She has taught me the power of being more creative.


This is my dad Scott. My dad has always been a great example to me of faith. This picture was taken out by our shed where he gave me a father's blessing. He gave me greater faith.

This is my niece Lauren. I have had the opportunity to babysit my nieces and nephews. She more than any of them has always asked me to come out and play with her when she can tell I'm feeling down or negative. She has taught me to live like a kid sometimes.

My best friend Shelby has the personality that makes you smile. We go on walks or go running together and she is always willing to talk to me without judgement. She taught me greater understanding and love.

This is my friend Angela. She is just warm and sweet and she comes over or we go to a playground  and we jam out with our Ukuleles. She taught me the love of musical healing.

This is my nephew Jacob.  Other than my husband this kid has my heart and does more for me than his 3 year old self can even comprehend. He has saved me from losing it a million times. He is so full of kid like humor and innocence. He sometimes seem to not have a care in the world which is refreshing to experience.  He has taught me to just enjoy life like a child.

This is my husband Nathan. He has been everything for me through all of this and is the bravest and greatest example of working through things. He has MS and at times things are hard for him physically but he still goes out and plays soccer and does so hard. At times he doesn't understand why God gave such an active person a disease that stops that but he keeps his faith. He has taught me about strength, bravery, perseverance, and to love life more.

In the last 3 months I have learned more about myself. I always thought that to become like someone was to lose your identity but in this case it has helped me find mine. This picture shows how I feel these days: peace, comfort, and clean. This picture is a picture of the eight people who have been there for me because each of them have become a part of me. I'm becoming a lot of someones and I'm perfectly fine with that. All these people have taught me how to smile again.